In The Middle
by Manda Louise
Summary: In which Hiro reflects upon the sadness in his life. Oneshot.


'**Ello! I'm back! I just keeping writing angsty oneshots . . . meh. This time its Hiro so, I don't know, enjoy!**

**Disclamer: Although I wish I did, I don't and never will own Fruits Basket.**

Stop.

Stop looking at me like that.

Yeah I watched her fall.

No I couldn't stop it.

You can't tell me _anything_ I don't already know.

You don't even know.

Just stop.

For me, the curse was a burden. Believe me, I'd seen firsthand what it could do. Everything about it was horrible, a curse made to punish, to torture. But none more so than in the department of love. The zodiac members seldom ended up with their true match. I was young, childish. According to Hatori, it was the 'expected course of action for a boy of my age'. I know what that means, and it isn't about how mature I was. I can't stop blaming myself for what happened to Kisa.

Pondering this, I walked around the main house for a while. No one bothered me, or even talked to me, so I was free to wallow in pointless regret by myself. Yes, pointless, I see that now. There was no sense crying over spilt milk. What I should have done, could have done, was to go to Kisa, explain to her what happened. Or maybe not even that, just be with her.

I knew what the kids in her class were doing. I knew I should have been the one helping. But I didn't do anything besides wallow. As I said before, such pointless pain. It never helps anybody.

Anyway, as I thought I walked around doors, up stairs, with no mind to where I was going. I didn't trip, nor did I have it in me to get up again if I did, but instead moved as if outside my body, guiding it in the right direction. Observing my life, not living it.

I laughed without humor when this thought popped up. It occurred to me that if someone were to judge my life, I'd get pretty low marks.

It was around this time I realized where I was. I was right outside of Akito's room. I pushed the door open, but there was no one inside. _He must be out__,_ was my only explanation. I turned from the dark, empty room and plodded down the hallway again.

I was headed back to the exit nearest to my house when I saw it. Akito, walking towards me, looking angry. Rin, looking defiant, walking towards Akito. Neither of them seemed to see me at all. As I watched, Rin passed me without a second glance. Akito walked forward, and had almost passed Rin, when he pushed her. It was a casual thing, just a little shove. Not much. Not much at all, compared to the back-hand swing he had taken at Kisa. The push itself should have only knocked her painlessly to the ground, but, because we were in a narrow hallway, instead she fell. I watched, horrified, as she traveled slow motion towards the dirt below. It seemed life had deemed me the bearer of burdens. I watched as two defenseless girls got hurt by the same man, butnever could do anything about it. Sad, isn't it?

As time passed, I heard more and more about Kisa, and less and less about Rin. In fact, while Kisa became the talk of the school Rin pretty much disappeared off the face of the Earth. A man stuck in the middle, pointlessly suffering. I couldn't help anyone. I couldn't do anything. It was so _frustrating_!

One day, she ran away. Kisa, I mean. No one could find her anywhere. Everyone looked, but I knew she was probably in her tiger form by now so she'd be well hidden. I looked for her, I wanted to help her. Just as I saw her, I was disrupted by Haru. So, he came to look too? Technically, I wasn't supposed to be out of the main house while they were searching, so I hid. He picked her up, carried her off who knows where, and I was left feeling pointless and stupid. I heard she got better after that. Heard she was 'saved' by some Tohru Honda. You'd better bet that _that_ made me jealous. I decided, then and there, I'd go and meet her.

After I met her that once, I despised her. The object of Kisa's affection wasn't me anymore. Only one good thing happened in that time of hate, the fact that Kisa and I were on good terms again. The only bad part about that was that she came packaged with her "big sister" Tohru. It made me angry, amazingly so, that she was so close with her. That affection belonged to me! Not some random stranger who did whatever she was told!

Even though I hated her, I had to put up with her for Kisa's sake. Unfortunately, I had to be nice to her too.

Things only got slightly better after The Talk. We had that one talk, that one day, where I kinda sorta thought she might be half-way decent. But aside from that, I don't really think my relationship with the dope got any better.

We were just walking one day when I saw Rin. That surprised me, since I hadn't really seen much of her since the whole pushed-by-Akito thing. Which reminded me, I hadn't yet told Haru anything. Not that it really mattered. He'd find out, in the end.

Here I was again, not doing anything, helping anyone, telling anybody.

Yeah, that's the story of my life.


End file.
